Saturday, we wait. Sunday, we rise.

I am moving.

Before I share all the details of when, where, who, and how; let me start from the beginning of this journey for me personally.

A few years ago, my friend Patty and I were reflecting on Saturday, the day after Jesus died, and how in life we have Saturdays; days of grief and pain. The beauty is Saturday does not last forever. Our hearts anticipate Sunday, the rising, the resurrection. In order to get to Sunday, we must endure Saturday. During this time, I’ve been in a liminal space between where I am and where I am headed. The wait has felt like, anticipating a package in the mail but it hasn’t arrived yet. You know its enroute, you just don’t have it in your possession.

The past 7 months have been heartbreaking and healing for me personally.  It’s been my Saturday and I have cried more times than I can count. It hasn’t been easy but saying yes to Jesus will and plan for my life has and will always be the best yes, I’ve ever given.

While traveling on tour for work a few years ago I got this deep sense that I would move and I wouldn’t stay in Texas. The main thing keeping me in Texas was my family. I decided on the tour the two cities I could afford to live in (I love you Cali but I am not ready for you to have all my money!) were Atlanta, GA and Charlotte, NC. Both cities caught my attention but I came home tried to re-settle into Houston beginning of 2017. I tried to truly settle in but I just didn’t feel deeply connected. I LOVE Houston so this was really weird for me. I’ve also stayed to myself quite a bit in this season so I really wasn’t sure what God was up to.

One day I pondered moving, once again, but now I lived in a townhouse with my brother, his wife, and my nephew. It didn’t seem feasible and I really wanted to be a part of my nephew’s life. My parents moved us to Texas away from family so I know how it is to grow up away from your aunties, uncles, and cousins. My brother and I always talked about staying close to one another if we could so moving was off the table for the moment.

A few weeks later, my brother tells me that he is praying about moving to Greenville, South Carolina (located right in between Atlanta and Charlotte, NC) to serve under Pastor John Gray who is taking over Redemption Church, soon to be named Relentless Church. I was shocked because we just signed an 18-month lease for a townhouse in Rice Military, I was just feeling like I had some sense of “permanency”.

No one in our family had ever been to Greenville, SC so I decided I wanted to go check it out in January. My friend Stephanie told me to fly into Atlanta and she would drive me to Greenville and we would look around. Stephanie has been a pillar for me during this season of singleness. She is one of the first people I talked to after my break-up last year and has prayed me through some of the toughest times in my life. At the end of the trip, we sat in a little coffee shop, wrote out our life roadmap using the passion planner layout and then talked about our dreams and goals. I shared with her that I felt like I needed to move to Greenville but I wasn’t sure why and I knew everyone would think it was all for my brother but I felt deep inside there was a purpose for me too, I just don’t know what it is yet. While tears poured down my face, Stephanie spoke life over me and I felt hope begin to arise in my heart.

I went home with a full heart and LOTS of questions but I began planning a cross-country move while beginning the semester for graduate school as an intern and taking one online course. Full-time work and full-time school. If you haven’t seen or heard from me much, now you know why.

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Here are some FAQ, I’ll answer below:

Where are you working?

I’ve worked for Legacy Collective for about two years, as the Communications and Programming Director. I work remotely but fly/drive to any work meetings or events I need to attend.

What is Legacy Collective?

Legacy Collective is a donor-advised fund, where people give anywhere from $10-$250+ per month and we give quarterly grants to organizations providing sustainable solutions to systemic issues. Basically, young people like me can give $20 a month a be a huge part of the $60,000+ grants we give away. We ONLY give to organizations nominated by our community members. Together we help further the work of existing organizations doing great work.  Members donate ($10-$99); partners donate + nominate organizations for funding ($100-$249), investors donate+ Nominate+ Vote on who receives funding ($250+).

If you want to learn more about the organization I work for visit our Website.

And if you want to join our community by donating monthly, join online.

(Shameless plug for my job)

When are you finished with Grad School?

I have 5 weeks left of my internship, I finish May 4th! I then have a Maymester course and one Summer Course that finishes in August. After this semester, I have two classes standing between me and a graduate degree!

What do you plan to do with your Social Work Degree?

Study and take the licensing exam, then continue working for Legacy Collective. I absolutely LOVE my job.

Are you still going to be roommates with your brother and his family?

No, I am not. I will be living in a loft right outside of downtown! I haven’t been there physically but I know I am going to love it. I selected my apartment end of February and ironically enough a week and a half ago, my brother found a place 5 minutes from me, so we will still be close by!

What will you do in Greenville?

I will work for Legacy Collective, study for my LMSW exam, and most likely start a Be The Bridge group there! You all know I am passionate about racial reconciliation and I completely adore our BTB ambassador team, that works tirelessly to make our BTB so great!

I will make new friends, get involved at Relentless Chruch, continue being an Auntie, and join local advocacy groups. And I will write to my heart’s content.

What about your mom?

She is going, too! She will live with me to start off as she learns the city and gets her bearings. She has never been to Greenville so the day she arrives will be her first time in the city! I am excited for her to come because she will be my trainer and get my butt back in shape, ha.

Will you and your brother keep your YOUTUBE show?

YES! We plan to continue. Moving has taken over our lives the past few months but we will re-group once I get settled.

Are you excited?

I am thrilled. I have been longing for adventure and a change of pace. This move places me closer to my Atlanta sisters and I am so grateful for that. I am also really ready for something different and I am excited to explore the states around me! I am gearing up for some summer travel and after being on a bit of a travel hiatus due to interning, I am itching to get on a plane, ASAP.

When do you move?

In 5 weeks. I won’t be able to see everyone before I go but if you are in Houston, I’d love to hug your neck!

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I am coming into my Sunday and I have long awaited this day. The clouds that seemed to hang over my head are dissipating. Worry is only but a whisper and fear is not gripping my heart. I am walking forward with open hands and a heart that is an open space. I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer about this upcoming season and I feel deeply grateful for what is to come.

I believe Barbra Brown Taylor’s article eloquently describes Holy Saturday. I will leave a quote below.

That is what Holy Saturday has taught me about being Christian. Between the great dramas of life, there is almost always a time of empty waiting — with nothing to do and no church service to help — a time when it is necessary to come up with your own words and see how they sound with no other sounds to cover them up. If you are willing to rest in this Sabbath, where you cannot see your hand in front of your face and none of your self-protective labors can do you one bit of good, then you may come as close to the Christ as you will ever get — there in that quiet cave where you wait to see how the Maker of All Life will choose to come to you in the dark.

May Grace and Peace be with you all.

xoxo

FaitthB

Everyone is Hurting

I know most people feel like they limped into 2017. Some bruised. Some wounded. Some angry. Some grieving. Some questioning. Some filled with joy. I feel like some people are trying to sort through the heightened emotions of 2016 the way we sort through our dirty laundry. Which clothes do I wash first?

I know most people feel like they limped into 2017. Some bruised. Some wounded. Some angry. Some grieving. Some questioning. Some filled with joy.  I feel like some people are trying to sort through the heightened emotions of 2016 the way we sort through our dirty laundry. Which clothes do I wash first? The colored clothes or the white clothes? Which issue will I address first? The personal issue in my family? The fact that the evangelical church is splintered and very torn- and I have real questions about my spiritual upbringing? Or the fact that our nation is very divided and 2016 felt like we were at war, especially if you are on Facebook. Thank God for Christmas and people having babies, everyone has put their political posts to rest (for now…). We all needed a break from debating with or reading the debates online. Its exhausting. At some point we have to get offline to being sorting through our laundry and cleaning our clothes.

Last year, I felt overwhelmed by the pain and hurt everyone was experiencing. As a black woman I mourned for the many injustices that occurred. As a black Christian woman I felt torn by “the churches” political stance and complete divide…it almost felt as if you had to choose a side and there was no leaning into the discomfort of disagreement. As if all Christians had to display uniformity…and if you didn’t- either way your faith was called into question, no matter what “side” you landed on. I know I landed in the camp of outsiders, feeling spiritually homeless. And now that Trump will be president in less than two weeks, I am nervously holding my breath for what will happen next. How our country will change and how I must choose to advocate going forward? Can Trump voters and non-trump voters peacefully co-exist? I know we can. Year after year, people co-exist peacefully despite political differences. Why does it seem so hard to do now? If your friendship with someone is contingent on their political affiliation you weren’t friends anyways. We can respectfully disagree without being aggressive or on the defense ready to be offended. 

In spite of all this stuff, I landed on a few truths for myself that have been life changing.

  1. I have complete hope in Jesus. My trust is not in a church or evangelicalism. My hope is not in tradition or a list of rules. My hope is in Jesus. There are mysteries I do not understand in the Bible. I am okay with the unknown. I do not have to have an answer for everything, nor do I need one. People will fail me. My trust is not in church “leaders”. I know many people lost their faith in the church and I’ll be honest, I almost did too. Church sometimes feels more like a cooperation but really, regular people make the church what it is today. Not a building, pastoral staff, ministry, or event. The church is you and me. I am friends with many beautiful souls and collectively we are the church. My relationships with them give me hope for us as people trying our best to live this one life we have for Jesus and loving our neighbor as we love ourselves. We won’t get it all right but if we can commit to love we are on the right track.
  2.  I need to limit my time online. Just CLOSE Facebook and walk away.
  3. My physical, emotional, and mental health is important to me. I will take care of myself and not put my health on the back burner.
  4. I have spent more time with friends and mentors who are smarter than me. I can waste my time scrolling through my feed online or I can surround myself with people who will help propel me into my future. This was an easy decision for me.

So while we are all sorting through what we want to keep and throw out in 2017, lets remember that people came into 2017 with some real hurt. We can extend grace and compassion to one another, even when we do not agree. And even if it seems hard, find something nice to say instead of being an emotional terrorist behind the keyboard, causing havoc online. We can assume the best about one another. This year we need less judging and more loving. Maybe we can all try to heal together in 2017.

Deeply Hopeful-

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Are You Really Ready?

No one said risking it all wasn’t scary.

BUT I think staying still is scarier.

#Write31Days

Day 1

Have you ever had those prayer times where you are proclaiming your undying love to God and you tell him “Yes, Lord I will do whatever you want me to and I’ll go wherever you want me to go!”

Be CAREFUL

BE VERY CAREFUL

You may find your world turned upside down. All the sudden what you planned (which was a pretty stellar plan, by the way) will be null and void. Things will shift and change and what you thought this next season of your life would look like has taken a turn in the opposite direction. When I begin to wonder why that happens, I remind myself that I said “yes”. I chose to be interrupted. In fact, I cheered for it. I cried out for it. So really, there should be absolutely no shock when I get exactly what I prayed for. Nonetheless, there is still shock. There is awe. There are moments of silence and mourning for what you will lose and faint smiles and a flicker of excitement for what you will gain.

So to my fellow reader friends, BE CAREFUL.

You may not be ready for the life of surrender you are crying out for.

It will cost you something.

Matthew 10:38-39 “If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.

The price of losing my life in order to find it in Christ is invaluable.

I will risk it all for Him. Every time.

(With tears in my eyes, butterflies in my tummy, and a mustard seed of faith)

No one said risking it all wasn’t scary.

BUT I think staying still is scarier.

XOXO

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