Dear “Supermodel” Me

**So I was searching my drafts, I have over 20 blogs sitting around that I’ve never published. I’m not sure why I didn’t publish this one two years ago. Maybe I felt it was too vulnerable, I’m not sure. But I love the raw honesty so I figured this was a great blog to share with you all, today.**

Dear “Supermodel” Me,

First off let me tell you how hard I am working to measure up to you. Its pretty tough. You have set a huge standard that I am hoping I will measure up to. Your slim body, flawless skin, gorgeous face, are truly something to behold. With a body like yours, you receive plenty of attention and praise from men. You are so desirable, who doesn’t love you? Your fashion is impeccable. You are everything I am not.

There is just one problem.

I can’t be you.

Somedays, I desperately want to be you. I want to get the attention you do. I want to be desired like you are. As much as I want those things, I want my sanity more. No matter how much I run, eat right, or dress well, I won’t be you. I will look in the mirror and have a choice to make- love my self or belittle myself. It seems almost sad that I compare myself to my imaginary supermodel self. Since I have grown up as a “good church girl”, one would wonder why I desire to be you, when God loves me as I am. This is where reality meets a mask and honestly, this talk is long overdue. I compare myself to you and all your “supermodel” friends that guys seem to swoon over often. I take one good look at myself and wonder if these passions, heart, and vision are enough? They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sometimes I doubt if my beauty is beheld at all.

Here’s the thing. I am tired. I am tired of chasing after you and hiding in your shadow. My pursuit of your perfection leaves me settling time and time again. Let’s face it, this is too risky. I trade my emotional stability to play a game I will never win. This is tiring. I would be remiss if I thought it was just girls playing this game because along the way I have seen a few guys join in too. Wondering if they are tall enough, wise enough, handsome enough, make enough money, or are worthy to be desired. It’s a problem many of us struggle with-men and women.  This is a problem that will change when I decide to change it and talk about it. Sure I may slip up and compare myself to you again but deep down inside I will hang on to the truth.

I am enough.

Supermodel Me, this is so hard to write for the world to see but it’s time I called you out. I have some big dreams and living in your shadow won’t get me to my desired destination. When someone says I am beautiful, I want to believe them 365 days of the year. Instead of dismissing the words spoken over me. 

We are all enough. Just the way we are. 


Faitth B

Hey. Let’s go to Austin.

If you know anything about me, you know that I love an adventure. I’m all about packing up and getting on a plane ASAP. Last year, I really wanted to get away so I called my friend Julie and told her we needed to find a place to visit that day. And at 9am we decided to go to ft. Lauderdale. The flight left at 4pm. I immediately packed all my stuff and drove from Austin to Houston. We barely made the flight but we got to Ft.Lauderdale. We spent 24 hours there and it was a trip to remember. 

Fast forward to today, I was telling Julie about some stuff I needed to take care of in Austin but I could only do it in person. Typically I’m the spontaneous one out of the two of us but this time Julie said “let’s go get your stuff done today”. So that’s exactly what we did. We arrived in Austin at 5:45 and left by 8:45pm to head back to Houston. Everything got accomplished and we had a lot of fun in the process. Julie is one of the few people I can travel with and have an absolute blast. I also got to see my friends Zeeke and Tasha. 

Life gets busy but Julie and I always make time for an adventure. Life is short. We will only be young once. I plan to soak up my youth and travel the world. 

BTW, everyone needs a friend like Julie. She is loyal, fun, organized, and she helps me keep my life in order. Julie, I’m glad you started working out 3 years ago so we could be friends 😂 (one day I’ll tell the full story). Cherish your tribe friends and love them well.