We used to be best friends. Long ago, You an I were thick as thieves. When I ate a hamburger, it did not stick to my thighs. If I wanted a milk shake, I got one. I barely needed to work out because you had my back. Trips to the gym were taken sparingly. Oh metabolism, I loved you so. Life was easy with you in it.
Then all the sudden you changed. The burger stayed on my hips and you didn’t keep it off. The bread built a fortress around my abs. My hips and butt have expanded since you decided to slow down. My fat is not burning up, it’s lingering. I wonder if we are even friends anymore?
Thanks to you, I had to make some new friends but we are barely on speaking terms. I have to make time for them everyday and I can barely tell if spending time with my new friends is worth it.
Oh exercise, I love and hate you. After a work out, I feel like I lost a pound for sure but instead I’ve only burned 250 calories, which doesn’t even cover the Starbucks I drank earlier😩. Exercise, I get impatient with you. I want instant results and that’s not how you work.
You see metabolism, I counted on you to come through in the clutch, when I ate that cheeseburger and hopdoddy truffle fries. You were supposed to burn that mess up. But no, my six pack is hiding behind a layer of fat because you stopped doing your job. I am a foodie. America has screwed me up. I like big portions, cake, milkshakes, cookies, and all the good flavorful food. I’m THAT GIRL.
Since you have left me high and dry, I have to continue my laborious friendship with Mr. Exercise, Ms. Meal planner, and only allow myself a “cheat day”. Do you understand how hard this is for me?!
“You changed bro”
To all you high metabolism people, you are blessed beyond measure. Cheers to you and drink a milkshake for me😢
My Metabolism Betrayed Me,