At My Worst

Sometimes I get that feeling. That looming feeling where I don’t want to deal with people. I don’t want to talk, offer grace or mercy, I want to be left alone. How jerkish of me? Seriously. Just because I feel overwhelmed and under pressure and feeling the weight of change, does not mean that I need to be a jerk inwardly or overtly. Honestly, being a jerk in my mind isn’t good either. I have found myself mentally complaining about people. Ugh, I am tired of that person because___________ (fill in the blank). The list could go on. I hate that this is how I have felt the past few days. This is a little funk that has to end.

I am well aware that my attitude affects every area of my life. LITERALLY. If I am complaining and griping about one thing it trickles into everything. I in turn become unproductive because I am worrying about everything I have to do. It’s in these moments that I wonder what in the world I am doing? AND why am I doing it? My attitude causes me to lose focus. When I get distracted I wonder why I am doing what I am doing…if I stay focused, I am able to plow forward without needing every detail.

Instead of beating myself up for my bad attitude, I am learning to acknowledge it, repent, and choose to change my attitude. I decide to be happy or sad. I decide to treat others with respect regardless of how they treat me. I have to make those choices. Today I did not chose kindness. I was easily agitated. I gave in to pity and doubt. I hate this feeling where I feel “ugly.” In my heart I displayed an ugliness that is not welcoming or attractive to anyone. It’s my weak moments that I am reminded of how much God loves me and offers me grace and mercy everyday. I am not perfect but I am making an effort to walk in love with the people I come in contact with.

I am sure I am not the only one that has felt this way. What are some of the ways you choose to overcome your attitude or daily struggles?


One Comment Add yours

  1. Kyle says:

    My mood is always up and down as well. I have to always be praying. If I don’t, I’m a mess. But I know I have to continue to walk in love. It’s the only thing that will keep me stable.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s