At My Worst

Sometimes I get that feeling. That looming feeling where I don’t want to deal with people. I don’t want to talk, offer grace or mercy, I want to be left alone. How jerkish of me? Seriously. Just because I feel overwhelmed and under pressure and feeling the weight of change, does not mean that I need to be a jerk inwardly or overtly. Honestly, being a jerk in my mind isn’t good either. I have found myself mentally complaining about people. Ugh, I am tired of that person because___________ (fill in the blank). The list could go on. I hate that this is how I have felt the past few days. This is a little funk that has to end.

I am well aware that my attitude affects every area of my life. LITERALLY. If I am complaining and griping about one thing it trickles into everything. I in turn become unproductive because I am worrying about everything I have to do. It’s in these moments that I wonder what in the world I am doing? AND why am I doing it? My attitude causes me to lose focus. When I get distracted I wonder why I am doing what I am doing…if I stay focused, I am able to plow forward without needing every detail.

Instead of beating myself up for my bad attitude, I am learning to acknowledge it, repent, and choose to change my attitude. I decide to be happy or sad. I decide to treat others with respect regardless of how they treat me. I have to make those choices. Today I did not chose kindness. I was easily agitated. I gave in to pity and doubt. I hate this feeling where I feel “ugly.” In my heart I displayed an ugliness that is not welcoming or attractive to anyone. It’s my weak moments that I am reminded of how much God loves me and offers me grace and mercy everyday. I am not perfect but I am making an effort to walk in love with the people I come in contact with.

I am sure I am not the only one that has felt this way. What are some of the ways you choose to overcome your attitude or daily struggles?


Author: FaitthB

I am a Travel Blogger, Social Worker, Activist, Creative, Social Media Strategist and Director of Women's Empowerment for Legacy Collective. I am always on a plane traveling, ready for my next adventure.

One thought on “At My Worst”

  1. My mood is always up and down as well. I have to always be praying. If I don’t, I’m a mess. But I know I have to continue to walk in love. It’s the only thing that will keep me stable.


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