Call me a silly dreamer but I did not think moving would be hard. In fact, I felt like it would be a piece of cake.
Moving has been great but it has not been as easy as I expected. The knowledge that I now “visit” home and no longer live there hit me like a ton of bricks after I got back from California. Now some of you may be wondering why I am such a wimp about this because you are seasoned in moving and starting over or maybe you have moved even further away from your family, so you “got this”. Well pray for me because I don’t “have it”, yet. I am working on it. It’s really not the distance that gets me. Its the comfort of knowing that my people are around the corner. That’s really it. Its the comforting hug from my older brother when I feel like giving up. The prayer and laughter with my mom when I question if I can achieve my dreams or not. Its the “I love you Fay Fay” from my dad while we watch tv and eat good food. Its the girlfriends that call me late at night to come sleepover or hang out. I simply miss my people.
While I am meeting new people and enjoying my church immensely. Change is purely harder than I expected. I work for the same foster agency but I am at new office with new co-workers, New church, new friends. Its all beautiful and challenging at the same time.
So, as I sat in my car today crying (feeling like a little kid), the dreamer in me was not adventurous or feeling brave. I was feeling weak, silly, and helpless. I was feeling like my bravery led me to a city away from all that I knew, and I was questioning it. The problem is, there is no room for questioning. I am here. I moved. I am going to stick it out. I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to learn how to stand on my own two feet if it is the LAST thing I do. I will do it. No one said venturing out was easy. No one said, accomplishing your goals would be a breeze. No one promised that. There is no ticket to success. There is purely hard work and trusting in Jesus. Without Jesus I would not be where I am today. Simply put, I would not feel like I could make it and move on. I would feel lost.
I have been able to see the sacrifice and diligence it will require to see my dreams come to pass. Dreaming is easy if you are just dreaming but when you are putting your dreams into action, it can be hard at times. Even when that happens, don’t give up.
One of my big dreams is HHope (A non-profit for teen mothers). We have a baby shower coming up for students in Alief ISD and we still need a lot of donations for 10 teen moms. We have two weeks to see God work a miracle. I believe he can and he will. So if you feel led to give or buy some donations for our baby shower, please do! Every little but helps a ton.
So people, that is how my day went. A bit emotional but filled with hope.
Whatever you are going through, remember that you can do it!