Somedays your words leave me crying at night.
Sometimes I question who I am because of all the negative words you have whispered.
Somedays I am brave.
Somedays I feel like I can’t speak over a whisper.
Sometimes I wonder if I am beautiful, you told me that I wasn’t.
When I start to feel strength and confidence you come again and whisper what I am not.
I thought I was over you.
I thought I overcame this.
I thought I was smarter than this.
I know better than to believe you.
Yet, I subtly I begin agreeing with you, over and over again.
I accept the criticism and sometimes I believe it.
My agreement with small lies attacking my destiny has hindered my creativity.
It has hindered my love for music and writing.
It has left me feeling empty at times.
It has caused me to feel depressed before; Yes, I let you do this to me.
I let you in.
Why did I do that?
You have only caused me pain.
You constantly fight to kill my dreams.
You remind me that I am
not worth fighting for.
You remind me of who I am not.
I’ve become my own worst critic.
Today is a new day.
Today is the day I say no more.
I will fight your whispers and lies.
I will fight.
With tears in my eyes.
I will fight.
I will love.
I will dream.
I will challenge others to dream.
I will be honest.
I will show up.
I will be authentic.
I may struggle and I may fall.
I will get up every single time.
I will say the best about myself.
I will believe the best about myself.
Because I am worth loving and being loved.
I am worthy of love and belonging.
I know I am.
It is time I believed it.
It’s time I see what other people see in me.
It’s about time I stop believing you for good this time.
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8-9