Born to Dream

Elizabeth Beaman Newman Photography
Elizabeth Beaman Newman Photography

 

I have always felt that I was born to be a dreamer. I spent most of my time as a child writing and dreaming about my future. I often dreamt about who I would become or changing the world at a young age. Although “what I wanted to be when I grew up” changed quite a bit; the one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to do things at a young age because age shouldn’t define me. These were my anchors as a child. I wrote about them. Dreamed about them. Daydreamed about them. Prayed about them. And cried over these anchors, that glued my heart to cling to the belief that one day I would fulfill this passion I had inside of me. I really did not know what that passion was, YET.

But I was hooked. I was dreaming all the time.

When I was 14 at a small youth group a man prayed over me and I got a picture in my heart of what God called me to do. I quite quickly gained a heart for teen mothers. So much so I have journals filled with pictures and drawings. I talked about having a non-profit for teen mom’s all the time. My parents just encouraged me to keep dreaming. I made up a vision collage of my dreams for the children and teen mothers (it’s till hanging on my wall). This dream and passion consumed me in the best possible way.

If my parents didn’t encourage me to act upon my dreams, I would have become content with just writing about this dream and never daring to step out in faith and launch it. I would just pray for a long-long-long time and hope that maybe one day I would have everything I needed to start it without stepping out in faith and trusting God to meet me. Its way easier to dream and dream some more; but it is a whole different idea to step out of the box and trust that the dream won’t always be a dream- it was meant to be birthed.

There is something sacred about the celebration of a new life entering this world. It’s as if the room builds with anticipation to hear that baby cry and take its first breath outside of the womb. Nine months of intense development and intricate design go into creating a new life. Once that baby is born a whole new adventure begins for parents-Its sacred and hard and beautiful all at same time.

I think of dreams in the same way. They are not meant to stay dreams. They are meant to be birthed. I dare to say that we all have dreams. We are all dreamers. The greater question would be, are any of us actually in labor? You know who you are- maybe your notebook(s) are full of vision and dreams and plans. What are we doing? Will our God given dreams ever breathe life into those around us? People need your music, writing, accounting abilities, dance, science, and technology. Whatever you are passionate about- don’t just let your dreams fall by the wayside.  Bring them into action. Do something. Trust that God will meet you on the water and you will not sink. He will never fail you.

“What about you and your non-profit for teen moms?” Glad you brought that back up, It’s happening. The name of my non-profit is Hannah’s Hope. I have wrestled for years about when I should begin the process of starting a non-profit. Do I really have what it takes? Am I making the right decision? What about finances and raising money? Volunteers? Am I old enough- will people listen to me?

I have a lot of questions but I have also learned to have a lot of faith too. I could wrestle about this forever but for me if I truly trust him, I will walk on water and I will not sink.

So that means the process for beginning my own non-profit has begun. If you want to learn more about it or give towards the filing cost with the state of Texas and IRS let me know. We are all in this together.

I believe our generation has the power to change things-to shake things up.

So lets dream. Step-Out. & Trust Jesus as we walk with him through every mountain top, valley, victory, and storm.

 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut. 31:6

 

Always,

 

Faitth

We weren’t always this close…

MOTHERS DAY is a day to celebrate these wonderful selfless human beings that raise children who eventually become presidents, doctors, pastors, scientist, architects, athletes, musicians, and daughters that one day become mothers. 

As a child I was closer to my dad than my mom. I thought my mom was not cool. She did not dress cool like the other moms. She was not “hip” like I wanted her to be (real selfish right?!) and I did not understand her. We are already completely opposite personality wise. I could have sworn that God gave me the wrong mother. I was a good kid but once I turned 10 my mom and I had a rough road ahead. I never wanted her to be around my friends. She was not cool enough. I even had the audacity to try (notice I said try because it did not work) and ignore her in public. I remember a season where weren’t getting along. I was constantly saying hurtful things and giving her a hard time. It was rough #TheStruggle. There are so many stories I could tell but just know, I had plenty of come to Jesus meetings with my mom during those pre-teen/teen years. She was a force to be reckoned with and Lord knows you do not mess with a black momma.

Thankfully college and distance helped our relationship to really have time to grow and develop. After I graduated from college I needed a roommate to live with in Houston. I desperately wanted to live in the city. So my mom packed up her stuff and moved to the city a few months before me. We had a rough start as “grown” up roommates. Let me tell you, I have been trying for a year to get another roommate but it just doesn’t work out. We have become such buddies. My mom has literally become my best friend. I completely understand her now. In fact, I am so humbled that I get to be her daughter. She may have held me up in 300 + prayer meetings growing up but she taught me how to talk to God and listen for his voice. She taught me how to serve others, how to forgive quickly, extend grace, be a lady, be the hands and feet of Jesus, and chase after my dreams. If I tell my mom my biggest dream, she says, “Yes I can see that. Lets get started, lets make it happen!” She is the most incredible human being I have ever met. I wouldn’t trade her as a roommate for anything! What fun we have! Movie nights, running together, praying together, laughing together, and watching our favorite shows. Did I mention that she is a counselor? So yes, I get free informal counseling sessions. She is keeping me in line people. She is the best. I want to love and display Jesus to people the way she does to me on a daily basis.

So to all you mommies out there. You are doing a great job. If in moments we kids don’t seem to like you, don’t worry it will get better. We will learn that you were right about a lot of stuff. We will learn how much we need you and value you. Its a process but trust me, we will get it. You all are the most precious people and I admire each and everyone of you.

 

Happy Mothers Day to all!

 

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Solitude

I have just spent 20 days in Solitude. No social media. Now I thought this would be easy, I even tried to journal about my experience daily and I’ll include a few entries below.

Day one of solitude and I’ve probably looked at my phone to click on Instagram or Twitter about 15-20 times already. Giving up Facebook hasn’t been that bad since signed off a few days ago but I was still looking at instagram. Pretty much all the pics on instagram are on fb which means I’m not missing anything. So thus, I strip away instagram and twitter along with fb and I am in for 20 solid days of no social media. I may not know what to do with myself. The whole purpose of me doing this is to read and pray and write. And get my head on straight. Whatever that looks like. Who is really “straight” and perfectly together? No one. Absolutely no one. So whatever. I’m trying to get focused.

Its been two hours of me being at home and I feel like my brain is going crazy. I am trying to find something to do. I feel like time is passing by slowly. I sit and read (I am seriously enjoying 7 by Jen Hatmaker. Get the book and read it.). Yep, only 20 minutes has passed. Also, I’m not watching my shows this week so things are quiet in my room, real quiet.

My mom asked me to go run so I conceded with the motivation that I was going to stop at the galleria and get a Cinnabon. Yes. I love Cinnabon and I haven’t had one in a year. So I felt that I could negate my run eat 880 calories unashamedly. At least I ran to get it and ran home to eat it? That probably doesn’t make this any better. Oh well:)

ImageMy cinnabon.

 

Even with our little detour, my mom and I still finished our 3 miles in under 30 minutes. She ran while eating ice cream and I ran with my cinnabon. It was quite hilarious & a great memory.

–The rest of the 20 days consisted of me reading, praying, and seeking God. Truly letting go of old stuff that has hindered me and recieving healing in areas I didn’t know needed healing. It’s really freeing to just be honest with yourself but it’s also painful. Those 20 days were full of joy, pain, and surrender.

On my last day I wrote this:

Its only fitting that at the end of this solitude time away from social media that I finish 7 by Jen Hatmaker and cry. lol This is becoming quite typical of me. My emotions and passion meet and often I am crying happy/sad tears at the same time.

During solitude, I have learned my entitlement to the “best” has led me farther from God because I was the one choosing my will. My vision was so blurred and I couldn’t hear God’s subtle whispers. I felt like I was doing everything right and yet nothing was going my way. I have served God faithfully and stayed out of “trouble”. I would think to myself: “For real God, quit playing, I know I haven’t been acting crazy and stuff. Have you forgotten about me?” My actions were “right” but my heart was all wrong. “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” Jeremiah 17:9

No amount of perfection will help you to earn what you want. Entitelment doesn’t move the hand of God. Any blessing we receive is simply because he loves us. Not because of how good we are. So here I am passionately pursing the heart of God (or so I thought) and nothing is going my way. I thought I deserved what my heat desired in the timing I wanted and the way I wanted. Instead, God is closing doors left and right. I am trying to go back and open them.

I had it all wrong. Not a little wrong but all wrong. I have wrestled with these feelings of entitlement for so long. I have wrestled with feeling left out. I was too focused on everyone else’s lane/life and comparing my journey to theirs. This toxic mentality did not bring me closer to the heart of God. It led me further away from him.

In my solitude I was sweetly broken. Humbled. Put in a place to really hear His heart and repent for my selfish behavior. It was so ugly and awful. It’s in my ugly and awful moments that I am thankful for his unconditional love. He loves me well and displayed his unconditional love through my family and friends over those 20 days. I am truly blessed to be loved by such an amazing group of people.

Of course I ended my solitude time in His presence at his feet with some amazing women. God met me there.

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