Lately, I have feel like I have been surrounded by “grown up” children. I find myself ranting to my mom about the people I am graced to interact with on a daily basis in this season of my life. It’s seriously been one of the most stretching seasons of my life (interacting with immature adults). As I am venting and pointing out all of my great qualities, my mom is quick to bring me down to earth. You see, the people very well can be stupid in moments and drive me nuts, but I am no better than them. There is such a fine line between pride and confidence. I find myself walking that tightrope. I am sure if I spent more time praying and less time complaining about these people, they would probably get on my nerves less. It’s great to let your feelings out (I do it daily) but I always have to remind myself to change my perspective, put myself in their shoes, and extend the same grace I would like to recieve. That is easier said than done. In the moment, all I can think of is how they are driving me crazy or how I just want them to leave me alone. Pretty much every reason I can think of to be annyoyed and selfish-I find it and nurse it and become friends with it. Which leads me to the problem, I focus too much on why they are stupid and why I am better.
Ah, doesn’t Jesus demand that we love our neighbor as ourselves. I got smacked in the face today by Galations 5:13 (MSG)…Use your freedom to serve one another in love;that’s how freedom grows. Those key words love and freedom. Walking in love=Freedom. If I truly want to stay free and focused. I have to love. It doesn’t mean I need to be bff with these people. It just means I need to love people because God loves me and I am a mess somedays, overly emotional, and demanding. He still loves me and pursues my heart. For the people that don’t know him, they are missing a huge piece of freedom and unconditional love. If I am just focused on myself then they will never see his love reflected through me.
So I vent, I think, and pray. “God help me not to kill these people, instead, help me to love”. Its not a one time prayer, for me its a daily prayer. Daily, I am being humbled and honestly I am so thankful because otherwise I would be wrapped up in pride.